Jimmy hadn’t slept since getting off the boat three days ago, but somehow he was thinking more clearly than ever before. As he sat on the broken radiator in his less than hospitable hostel staring at the treasure map’s corner piece, he kept imagining what it would be like to have the treasure for himself.

Maybe it was the dream of having more than a messy shack, the same three sweatshirts and a from-the-ground-up gasoline delivery business. Jimmy could deliver lots of things, not just gasoline, but for some reason that’s all they ever wanted him to carry. Maybe it was the fact that after weeks on his own in the wide unknown world, Jimmy’s savings were brought down by a Parisian fortune teller and a fateful roll at the roulette table. Or maybe Jimmy just wanted a break from being everyone’s joke for a change. Whatever the reason, Jimmy had gone wild. The gloves were off, the cage was open, the chips were down, and the bodily substances were on a clear trajectory toward the blades of the fan. In the game of life, it was finally Jimmy’s turn.

Jimmy knew the sailors would be armed to the teeth, so he needed to move with extreme care and precision. He procured some graph paper and several pencils from the local paper-and-pencil store, and as a techno beat scheming montage played loudly in his mind, Jimmy put his head down and went to work on concocting his master plan.

“Oh, I’ll deliver,” Jimmy thought to himself as he recalled the action scenes in every James Bond movie he’d ever seen. “I’ll deliver that map right out from under their noses.” Then he laughed slyly to himself and penciled in a note that he should think of some better catch phrases.

Finally after a couple days of toil and with an extremely sore right hand, Jimmy stepped back and surveyed his plan for the heist. It was a good plan. No, it was a great plan. No, it was a super fantastic fabulous plan. But would it work?

Jimmy knew that he would definitely be spotted by one of the Renflouer’s guards if he tried to board from the dock, so his plan was to approach from the east, in the water. With a child’s pool toy for floatation and a wearable shark fin he made himself from stuff around the hostel, he would swim in completely unnoticed past the machine gun guard and the mutant man eating jellyfish that may prowl the shallow waters of the bay. He would climb the ladder near the boat’s bow, donning his thief disguise and sneaking by as many as seven guards who might be armed with machine guns.

Making his way to the door that led below, Jimmy would quickly pick the lock and slip down the stairs, disabling the cameras and motion detectors as he went. His biggest challenge would be the security laser grid surrounding the uncrackable safe in which the map was kept. He knew it would take some tough feats of acrobatics to get past them, which is why he had been doing three pushups each day in preparation. Cracking the safe would certainly trigger the alarms, so Jimmy would then need to cleverly disguise himself as one of the sailors to slip out in the turmoil following the robbery.

He knew it was going to be tough, but he was up to the challenge. There was no turning back, especially since he had already begun thinking of the hidden loot as “Jimmy’s Treasure.” On the day of the heist, Jimmy set out just before sunset, hoping luck was on his side.

On his way to the boat, Jimmy spotted the entire Renflouer crew at a streetside cabana bar, drunkenly singing a French karaoke rendition of Rupert Holmes’ The Pina Colada Song. After standing by and enjoying the song for a minute, which in the French language had a delightfully romantic feel, Jimmy realized (and exclaimed aloud) what this meant. “The boat is unguarded!”

Jimmy sauntered down the dock and boarded the Renflouer, a little disappointed that his homemade shark fin was going to waste. The boat was deserted, so he didn’t have to sneak past any guards. The door to below was unlocked and there were no security cameras. Jimmy was becoming increasingly frustrated that his carefully thought out plan was falling apart. There were no laser grids, no motion sensors, no machine gun guards hiding in the shadows. Jimmy’s heart sank. This was no Jimmy Bond moment. But then he saw the map, sitting plainly on top of the file cabinet that he had somehow mistakenly imagined as a safe.

Jimmy retrieved the corner piece from his pocket and laid it next to the remainder of the treasure map. It was a perfect fit. Just to be safe, he took out his phone and snapped a pic of the completed map. He was about to leave with the map when he was hit with a sudden attack of conscience. “What am I doing here,” Jimmy thought to himself. “They worked so hard to find this map, and I have a picture of it.” Jimmy left not only the sailors’ map, but the corner piece as well. After stubbing his toe on the stairs and screaming loudly like a baby for a few minutes, Jimmy disembarked from the Renflouer and vanished into the shadows like a ghost.

Back at his quiet hostel and feeling like a real nice dude, Jimmy looked for a few minutes at the treasure map’s image in his phone. Now he knew where the next leg of his adventure would take him: To the unforgiving jungles of the Andes mountains, where his treasure hunt would truly begin.